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Special Days Last Forever
29 November 2007 @ 09:31 pm
On My god.. I havent updated this thing in almost a year. How is everyone.. Really good I hope.

Everything has been really weird and kind of transitional. moving from one thing to another has been really changing and kind of a learning experience. moving from part time to full time at my job, from which honeslty I dont even like anymore. Moving into a house with my mother and her boyfriend and moving on since vince died.

Working full time has shown me how assholeish people can be. I think I get more customner complaints than I did when I was part time. I can't believe that I can deal with all of it. I do like the fact that I have been there for so long that people ask me questions and I actually have the idea to know how to deal with them. Retail sucks.
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Missy Higgins - Where I stood
Special Days Last Forever
20 April 2007 @ 12:10 am
Since I last wrote in here not a whole lot has changed. I have turned 23 and have made it to the 2 year mark at my job. Since losing my friend or lack their of at the time, I have come to an understanding about the person that I am and who I hope to be. I have discovered that I can not handle death. I can't even go to hospitals. They are not my thing. All the emotional ruccus is something that I can not handle. I have never openly discussed my friends death other than the fact that I do feel bad about it. I mean honestly what is their to talk about. I ultimately discovered how much of a bad person that I may truly be and how stubborn of a person that I am at times. Its all about a learning a experience I guess. I will try to leave that to my own devices.

I believe that my mother and I will finally be moving from our apartment to a home with her and her boyfriend. Im happy because I have lived here ever since I was in elementary.. its about time for some change. everyone needs it.
Current Location: home
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Incubus - Dig
Special Days Last Forever
02 March 2007 @ 01:33 am
Ive MIA here for a while. I havent had alot of exciting things happen. And for that much I havent had alot of feelings to share.

Financial aid cut me off so for the semester I havent been able to like go back school whih really kind of sucked because I was almost done. I miss seeing all the people that I meet in classes and Im surprised at the people that remember me. I dont try to make an impression im just nice to people that are nice to me.

One of my friends died not to long ago. I can't really say that were are or were friends because before he died we had not been talking because of a falling out that we had ayear earlier. Am I sad. sure. I think that our friendship was important in teaching me 2 things. honesty is the best policy and well Let the little things go. I dont know honestly if we would of ever made up. I am a pretty stubborn person and I dont want the "drama" to affect my life in anyway there is just too much time and stuff. I wish I made ammends. Someone asked me how I felt about it. I feel awful that it happened but I think that I had put my emotional feelings away a long time ago that is why I didnt cry for too long. Life's too short.

I have grown tired of my job and the pay. Retail for me is losing its balance because of the way that others act. I enjoy my co-workers they are alot of fun and stuff but the pay im getting sucks. I have bgan putting in applications at other places.. who knew I would be at macys for 2 years...
Current Music: Feeder - Tender
Special Days Last Forever
2006 was fun and how I will not miss it. I feel like I went through the same things that I did last year but just a little harder and with more of a eye opening consequences. With losing my friend to an accident, to having a crush on the same guy for almost like most of the summer I get the feeling that this year was not only about learning who I was but about the idea of "You Can't Always Get What You Want". I wasnt expecting much this year.. maybe a little sanity. I'm happy the whole crush help me learn alot more and it made me happy to know that me and the guy I liked are still friends. School sucked. I didn't pass any of my science classes. Im not really too bent out of shape about it . both of my teacher were amazing and fabulous BITCHES. The Drama was "unbelieveable" this year. And I mean for everyone else. Ashley moved away and now lives in oregon, but I think its like she never moved. Aside from the fact that she isnt physically here I talk to her on a daily basis. All in all I can't say the year was too bad. Will I miss it? Not one bit. Im happy and ready for 2007.
Current Location: At home
Current Music: Watching Ice Age 2
Special Days Last Forever
24 December 2006 @ 04:14 pm
What a good week. Everything is getting better and I am happy. it seems that the worlds problems are bigger than mine that makes me feel better. I am finally over a cold that I had for almost a week.

I didnt ask for much this christmas this year and that is good. maybe I am finally getting too old for this holiday I am not entirely sure. I think that I am slowly finding material things less and less of importance although I never thought that they were that important in the first place.

Happy Xmas to all.
Current Music: Snow Patrol - Shut Your Eyes
Special Days Last Forever
09 December 2006 @ 02:13 am
Its been a weird and frustrating week. My co-workers funeral was on monday and I dont think that I have ever cried that hard. Im really sad about it. I mean it's like one day your here and then its weird like the next you just arent. It really depressed me because I had seen her the night of her accident and I felt like maybe I should of been more forthcoming and said more. I mean I did tell her goodbye (cause I thought i was gonna see her the next day) but was it enough?

School has depressed me. I can't believe that I can no longer get money to go back to school and that now I have to wait and work and stuff. I got to take out a loan and im scared that I will mess up and not be able to pay my bills.

I swear I need to think about finding another job when I quit macy's. Sometimes Im surprised about I have even stayed there for that long.

The year is almost over and Im still in the same place that I was a year ago. Im single, I work at the same place and I havent completed school. What is wrong with me? I wish something would change.

Am I Okay.. I dont know anymore.
Current Music: La Rocca - Non Believer
Special Days Last Forever
26 November 2006 @ 12:15 am
Omg My co-worker died this morning in a car accident.
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: Band Of Horses - The Funeral
Special Days Last Forever
06 November 2006 @ 12:01 am
its been a million years since I updated this thing.

Anyway.. I made out with this guy the other night. I was drinking with some guys and then I ended up making out with this guy that I had a class with like 2 semesters ago. I decided the next day that It was not a good idea. mainly because I didnt really have any interest in the guy and it just happened. I think the reason that I did it was because I was surprised that I was being hit on. Who knew someone would ever hit on me. The thing is that I am not interested in this guy so I didnt call him and I erased his # and I didnt call him. I think that its best to be honest with myself and realize the mistakes that I make at times. This has shown me how hypcritical I can be at times. Not purposely.

I feel like all I have been is busy with school, work and whatever else that seems to occupy my time. I can say honestly that a month ago or even a few months ago I was depressed over some stuff that I never really dealt with. Im okay now. I dont know why I just am. maybe it's because its what I needed to do.
Current Music: Rewatching Ugly Betty....
Special Days Last Forever
11 October 2006 @ 01:56 am
Ive noticed a few things about myself lately.. Well since I have been shopping quite alot. It really helps to fill the void. When...

you lost the guy you wanted

school starts to suck the life out of you.

when one of your best friends moves away


oh.. life is beautiful.
Current Music: greys anatomy
Special Days Last Forever
09 October 2006 @ 12:42 pm
Body: Hi For all those people on my list that have a cellphone and my number I was instructed that I am almost over my Peak minutes.. so If you call and you dont have verizon and I dont answer it . its cause I dont want to go over my minutes.. so call me after 9